I had often liked the idea of dogging. Going along to a dark car park in the woods, having sex with random strangers – there’s something deliciously rude about it.
Once, I even went to a secluded car park near the river in West London that was supposed to be a dogging spot. At least, that’s what I found on the web. I was full of anticipation. It was late at night and pretty dark. A car cruised in slowly and my girlfriend grabbed my arm. “That looks like a couple. What do you think? Is that a couple?” The car parked up. Two elderly gentlemen got out. They had big bags of something with them – what on earth was that? The two fellows went over to the riverbank, set up little chairs and started to fish. They were anglers, not doggers. We went home.
Much later, I was at Richmond BDSM, my local kink meet-up, for drinks at a pub near me. Catriona was amazed that I had never been dogging and offered to take me in hand. It was summertime and quite warm. A few days later, off we went to a car park in Surrey that Catriona knew. This was not new to her…
There were a few other cars already parked, with a couple or two and several single men. Just sitting in their cars, listening to the radio or reading a paper. It all perfectly innocent, unless you knew. I sensed an air of waiting for something hanging in the air.
Briefed by Catriona, I had brought condoms and a dogging blanket. This latter item is sold in hardware stores as a “picnic blanket” and it has a waterproof side that you put down on the ground, with a soft side that goes uppermost. They fold up into a handy roll, with handles, for carrying. Best not to ask for a “dogging blanket” in the shop.
We chatted by our car for a minute, so that Catriona’s miniskirt and my dogging blanket were not lost on the inhabitants of the nearby cars. Then we strolled slowly into the woods, pausing to make sure we were easy to follow. Sure enough, two men decided that was the very moment that they also fancied a stroll.
As soon as we found a fairly secluded spot, we spread our blanket and Catriona made sure that she looked suitably alluring. The two fellows approached, then paused at a polite distance. (I came to learn that this is correct dogging etiquette.)
I gave them a friendly wave and gestured towards Catriona, felling rather like a car salesman pointing out a nice convertible with low mileage, in a fetching shade of blue.
Catriona was enthusiastically“spit roasted” by the two guys, who went at it like two dogs at a particularly juicy bone, pausing only for a few moments after I warned of an elderly lady passing by with her spaniel. As soon as she had gone, play was resumed.
My first dogging trip was an experience and a success. All the same, the obvious downside is that you have absolutely no idea who is going to emerge from the woods. Maybe some nutters, maybe a rapist, some one out of his head on drugs – how do you know? So I left it as a one-off experience. Until, a year or two later, Gary and Emma asked whether I fancied joining them one sunny afternoon.
Now, Gary and Emma are friends, nice people and always up for fun. Emma wanted to try dogging and they needed someone to hold their hand. It would have been churlish to refuse. Off to the woods in Surrey again.
Emma is lovely and had no trouble at all attracting admirers. She entertained three guys in the woods while I kept watch, then paused for a rest before taking on another two. Great fun, although I had the same misgivings about safety.
My fears were amplified soon afterwards, when another couple attracted quite a crowd of random men one dark night. The woman was very obviously having a great time, but was her husband certain that condoms were being used by everyone? How did he know that there would be no trouble? I mean, this was a dark night in the woods. Again, how safe was all this? Hmmm, food for thought…
How to keep the excitement and yet make everything safe? Of course, that’s the very essence of safe, sane and consensual kinky sex. So I came up with a plan.
Safe dogging is when you assemble a crew of anything from three responsible people upwards. They don’t have to be close buddies, but you do need their names, email addresses and phone numbers. You need to trust them, so don’t go with anyone who only uses anonymous apps like kik. Know who they are.
It’s necessary to have couples and women, of course, but do also have a few single guys. The women like that, obviously. (And there’s safety in numbers.)
Then, plan a scenario that works for the women. If they don’t have a great time, the evening will be a washout. Meet up at a designated time and place. Maybe do role-play. Men in hoods or masks? Bondage, gang bangs? Give the women a chance to fulfil their fantasies in what feels like an exciting situation (but is actually perfectly safe).
Always have at least one person on lookout duty. If someone comes along, a birdcall whistle is ideal to warn everyone discreetly. I use an “Acme” peewit whistle, available online, which works fine.
Don’t forget the condoms, lube and dogging blanket. Make sure everyone knows the limits. What does she like and – more importantly – what does she dislike? Know her limits and make sure everyone else knows. For example, if she doesn’t like it in the tradesman’s entrance, the guys need to know.
My own little group meets at a swinger club in West London, just so everyone knows everyone. Then, later that evening, everyone who feels inclined heads off to a secret location. If anyone wants to bail out, that’s fine. We call it “safe dogging” and it’s all the fun without the risk. You know it makes sense.
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I love this hilarious song about dogging…